Confusion!
by shewritesthefics
Summary: This IS a Phan. Dan thinks Phanfiction is stupid. He could never love Phil like that! But what if something was to happen to make him think differently? And how would Phil feel about this? Rated M for obvious reasons... I hope you enjoy this, reviews are welcome :) Still in progress but lots of chapters up already. Includes quite a traumatic experience..
1. It's Stupid!

Phan - Chapter 1

Dan's POV

Dan stared at the writing on the screen.

"_**I didn't know what to think, I had just never noticed this before. For the first time I was seeing Phil in a new way, a beautiful, true love kind of way. The way his soft hair danced in the wind, the crystal blue of his eyes. The smile that could light up an entire room. I, Daniel Howell, was completely and utterly in love with Phil Lester."**_

_Ugh, _Dan thought. _What is it with these people? This is disgusting! Phil is my best friend, I'm not freakin' in love with him! _

Dan angrily closed down the webpage and sat back in his chair. He didn't understand why he had even bothered to look at the fanfiction, he usually found it funny, but it was getting to him a little now. He was always going over it in his mind. He couldn't see himself liking Phil in that way. He was straight, and Phil was his best friend. JUST his best friend.

Dan signed off and stood, stretching and looking towards the clock. It was 10:30am, Saturday.

"I guess I better get dressed" he said to himself, and proceeded to his wardrobe. He chose some boxers, a purple space top and some skinny jeans that hung just a little too low (but when did Dan Howell ever wear a belt?!) and shoved them on, looking in the mirror to fix his hair quickly before leaving his bedroom.

He walked into the living room and was surprised to see Phil already up and dressed, looking at something on his laptop. Phil was usually one to have a lie-in on Saturdays, it would be rare to see him before at least half 11.

"...Morning" Dan said. Phil continued looking at the screen for a moment before tearing his eyes away and looking at Dan. "Morning!" he said with a smile. Dan walked into the kitchen area and filled up the kettle, getting out two mugs and putting them on the counter. He made two coffees and carried them back into the living area, handing one to Phil.

"Thanks!" Phil smiled at him, gratefully taking the mug and sipping the coffee, a content smile on his face.

"What are you looking at?" Dan asked.

"This new Delia Smith recipe. We need to try this!" Phil said, turning the laptop to Dan to show a picture of some unbelievably delicious brownies.

"Well Hallowe'en is coming up, we could make one and transform it into a graveyard? Would make a pretty good video" Dan suggested.

Phil grinned. "That's a great idea!"

Dan sat down next to Phil, sipping his coffee as the two sat in comfortable silence. As carefully as he could, Dan kept sneaking little glances at Phil as he scrolled down his twitter. _How can people think I love this guy? _Dan thought. It wasn't like he didn't like Phil, of course he did. They had been close for years and he trusted Phil more than anyone. But he just couldn't see himself **loving **Phil. It was just so out of the ordinary when people think that someone that is like a brother to you, could be your boyfriend. Just... no.

"Why are you staring at me?" Phil asked, and Dan realised that Phil was looking directly at him and had been for about 5 minutes.

"...Sorry, I was daydreaming, didn't mean to stare at you" Dan stuttered.

"...Alright, I hate when that happens. That's quite a good video idea actually. 'Awkward Staring'. Mind if I use that?" Phil asked.

"Go for it" Dan replied.

"So we're still going shopping and stuff today, right?" Phil asked.

"Yeah definitely, I want to film some stuff outside for one of my videos" Dan said. "Do you wanna head out now?"

"Yeah sure" Phil said, shutting down his laptop and standing. "I'll just get a jacket and then we can go"

_**Hey guys! So yeah, Dan is being a bit ignorant at the moment, but within the next chapter or two the story should develop further and some changes will happen. If you've just read this - THANKYOU! I hope you'll go on to read more of this, I will be posting new chapters asap. Reviews (good or bad) are more than welcome, it would be nice to hear what you guys liked, or what you think I should improve on. Or if anyone feels like talking like discussing Dan and Phil or something, I love to talk to people so feel free to message me :)**_

_**My tumblr: .com **_

_**Thanks again for reading! :)**_


	2. LLAMA!

Chapter 2

Phil's POV

Dan and I had been out for 7 hours now and we had gone to Starbucks, several shops, Subway, the park, and you guessed it: we were now in Starbucks again. We had just ordered our drinks when Dan turned to me, panic in his deep, brown eyes.

"I LEFT MY LLAMA HAT IN SUBWAY!" Dan practically screamed.

"Dan, calm down! Our coffee is being made so we'll drink it and then leave after. We already said we were gonna sit in so we can't take the coffee with us!" I replied.

"But Phil! It's my llama hat!" he sulked. "You know what? You stay here and i'll go and get it"

"Subway is on the other side of town"

"I'll run then" Dan said, taking £5 out of his pocket and handing it to me. "Stay here, this is for my coffee. I'll be back in 10 minutes" he said, before running out of the shop before I could say anything. I waited until the coffees were ready and then sat down. I hoped Dan would be back soon, I looked a bit weird sitting on my own.

Dan's POV

I ran as fast as I could and made it to Subway just before they were closing. I burst through the door and ran up to the desk, trying to catch my breath. The woman standing there greeted me and asked what I would like.

"Hey" I said. "I kinda left something here earlier today.. it's a.. llama hat" I blushed. The woman giggled and opened a drawer in the desk, pulling out my hat and handing it to me. "Here you go!" she said, smiling. I thanked her and then turned to leave, closing the door behind me on the way out.

I began to walk back to Starbucks, realising that I had already been at least20 minutes. I decided to take a shortcut through the park as this would take me to the other side of town much quicker than walking the normal way. I jumped over the fence and began walking across the grass, looking around me at the night sky full of stars and the swingset that was only just visible in the pale light. I seemed to be alone, which was good. I didn't feel like being apporached tonight, I just wanted to get back to the warmth of my coffee.

I had been walking for about 10 minutes (it was a huge park...) when I heard a noise. I looked into the trees but I couldn't see anything, it was probably a squirrel or a bird. But then there was the noise again, louder. Over and over, like a clock ticking. And that's when I realised that it was footsteps. And they were getting closer, but I couldn't tell where that were coming from. Panicking, I turned to run and my head collided with something hard infront of me. I fell to the floor on my back and quickly sat up again, hoping I had ran into a tree or something. But trees don't carry knives.

Phil's POV

Dan had been at least half an hour already, and his coffee was still sitting there infront of me. I knew it was a long walk but he should've been back by now. Because it was late autumn, it was already pitch black outside. I checked the time: 6:40pm. I was bored, and I was tempted to just go and find Dan. Knowing him he had probably got distracted by something in a shop. I decided to give it 5 more minutes before I went to search for him.

Dan's POV

I hadn't been intentionally stabbed. I had just ran into the man. However, the knife had caught my arm causing it to bleed and sting, but that hadn't been the man's intent. Yet.

"What is someone like you doing here so late in the evening?" The man asked. His voice was croaky like he had smoked far too many cigarettes, he stank, and he was wearing a beanie over most of his greasy hair.

"I-I'm just on my way... to meet a friend" Dan stuttered, desperately searching for someone, anyone to save him from this.

"A friend, eh? Well they won't mind if you're a little late then" The man smiled.

"I- I really can't be late, I'm sorry..." Dan mumbled. "I really need to go..."

"Well then, lets make this quick" the man said, lifting the knife above his head. Dan pulled his arms infront of his face, bracing himself for pain.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!" the shout rang out.

Dan stayed as he was for a second, before slowly moving his arms away from his face when he realised that it had not been the man that had shouted. The man was looking to the left and Dan followed his gaze... to see Phil.

Phil stormed over angrily and grabbed the stunned man by the collar of his jacket. He forcefully pulled the knife from his grasp and tossed it aside, punching the man clean across the face and throwing him to the floor. The man whimpered in pain before surrendering and running off into the night.

Dan sank to the floor, feeling the pain rushing into the cut on his arm. Phil gasped, sinking to his knees and holding dan's arm up to him.

"Dan? Are you alright?!" Phil asked. Dan couldn't move. He couldn't speak. And he didn't know why. Was it because of the shock of nearly being stabbed? Or that Phil had just saved his life?! Dan looked up into Phil's concerned eyes. They were a dark blue in this lighting and he looked worried, urging Dan to answer him. Dan was losing blood. Not enough to kill him, but enough to really hurt. Without saying anything he collapsed onto Phil, closing his eyes and enveloping himself in Phil's warmth. Phil put his arms around him to comfort him, and Dan lay there, enjoying Phil's scent and his soothing words as everything began to turn numb.

Phil's POV

Eventually, Phil helped Dan to his feet and they began to walk home. On the way back Phil ripped the bottom of his shirt off and wrapped it around Dan's arm. Dan gasped a little, that was Phil's Domo shirt! His favourite one! But Phil knew that Dan was more important. Even though Dan's legs weren't injured, Phil still insisted that he walk with his arm around Phil so that he could support him. They walked like that all the way to their flat and then Phil unlocked the door, closing it with his foot and helping Dan onto the sofa. Phil walked into the bathroom and returned with a wet cloth and a bandage, and he cleaned up Dan's arm. He then went into the kitchen and made two coffees, handing one to Dan.

Dan finally spoke, just saying "thankyou".

He knew that Dan wasn't in the right mood to speak, but he knew that Dan wasn't just thanking him for the coffee. Phil turned on the TV but at a low volume and pulled a blanket on top of Dan, helping Dan to lay down on the sofa.

"Go to sleep Dan, you'll be alright now" Phil said, and Dan nodded, closing his eyes. Within five minutes Dan's breathing slowed as he drifted off to sleep.

Phil was scared to leave Dan after what had happened and so he brought a chair next to the sofa and watched the TV quietly, looking over at Dan every so often to make sure he was still alright. He stayed like that all night until he fell asleep at roughly 5am. He would do anything for his best friend.


	3. Dan

Chapter 3

Dan's POV

It had been 2 weeks since the incident, and so many things were different. The next morning I had woken up to see Phil asleep on one of the kitchen chairs, and the TV was still on but had switched to standby. _Did Phil really watch over me all night?! _I thought. He was the best friend anyone could ever have. I thought back to that night, the way he had beaten up that guy. I had never seen Phil so... strong. And when I had collapsed into him and he had just held me, we could have been like that for 5 minutes, or 5 hours. I have no idea. But it didn't matter. I felt safe. I felt at home. All my fear disappeared. But... why?

I had initially thought that it was just because I had been in a bad state, Phil had saved my life and so I was obviously grateful. But the more I thought about it, the more I realised that this wasn't the first time that I had felt like this. Whenever I got into fights with girls I was seeing, or recieved hate on my channel... Phil was always there to comfort me. He always made me feel better. Whenever I got bad news, Phil was there. If I failed a test... Phil. If I felt alone... Phil.

I could remember his face on that night perfectly in my mind. Like a photograph. He had looked scared, concerned, just wanting me to be alright. His eyes were bright blue and watering a little, and his mouth was moving as he was trying to get me to talk to him. The stars were behind him and everything was just... right. I had just wanted to stay in his arms until all the pain went away.

Why was I even thinking this? This was starting to sound like those silly fanfictions people wrote. They were far from the truth - I could never love Phil. Never. That's just how it had always been, and would always stay. Plus, it's not like he loved me anyways.

Phil's POV

I love Dan. Every night since that incident i've had nightmares about him - about him dying, me not saving him in time, me finding him when it's too late... It's been killing me. I've resorted to trying to stay awake for as long as possible. My eyes have huge bags under them. I'm a wreck. But I have a reason to be. I nearly lost him. The one person that means the most to me in the entire world. He was nearly gone forever. Before I had been secretly bi-curious, but I was so confused. I thought that I fancied girls, but at the same time I started to develop feelings for Dan. I always kept them secret or he would freak out, but if I was bi or gay, why didn't any other guys appeal to me?

The night of the incident is when I was struck with the truth. When I saw Dan moments from death and I knew that I had to do everything I could to save him - that's when I realised. I'm not bi. I'm not gay. I'm not even straight. The only person that I could ever want in the world, was Dan. Only Dan. Always.


	4. Phil

Chapter 4

Dan's POV

What the fuck is up with Phil? He walks out of his room every morning looking as if he hasn't slept in weeks. He's not concentrating on anything, and he hasn't posted a video in a while. People are getting impatient. I ask him what's wrong and he says he just can't sleep, no matter what. I tried giving him sleeping pills to help him but I keep finding them on the floor in his room. He isn't taking them. Does he not want to sleep?

As for my -ehem- 'feelings' towards Phil, I really don't know. Embarassingly I had a dream about him a couple of nights ago, but nothing sexual. We were sitting in a cafe with Chris and PJ, chatting normally. Just like we always do, except, Phil and I were holding hands. And then he went to go and get something and kissed my cheek before he left. It had all been really weird, but so... normal at the same time. Like it was just something that wasn't out of the ordinary. Like it was meant to be.

No! Why did I think that? Phil and I aren't meant to be. The only reason the idea of Phil and I being a couple even exists is because of the fans. That's all. It's not real.

So why can't I stop thinking about him?

Phil's POV

This is getting ridiculous. I'm not sleeping. Dan's trying to help me, but he doesn't understand. He'll never understand. I can't just tell him I love him! He'll freak out and probably never talk to me again. But I know the nightmares are happening because I'm keeping this from him. If I told him, they would go away. But a real-life nightmare could happen - he might not want to be friends anymore. He could force me to move out. What do I do?

I picked up my phone from the desk and decided there was only one thing for it. I went onto my contacts and clicked Chris' name, calling him. After a few rings he answered.

"Hello?"

"Hey Chris it's Phil, is it okay if we meet up today? I kinda need to talk to you about something" I asked.

"Yeah sure, I'm glad you called. Today was gonna be boring. Wanna come over at about 1?"

"Yeah thanks, see you soon!" I said, and hung up.


	5. Crabstickz

Chapter 5

Phil's POV

I arrived at Chris' house just on time, and he welcomed me in. We sat in his living room and he passed me a can of coke. He turned on the TV and we began to watch Adventure Time (yay!), and then he turned to look at me.

"So what did you wanna talk about?" Chris asked.

"Okay, don't be freaked out about this" I said.

"I... won't?"

"I kinda like Dan. Like REALLY like him. I think I love him."

Chris gasped dramatically, pretending to jump back in mock fear. "NO WAY!?" he shouted.

"you knew?" I asked.

"It's a bit obvious!" Chris laughed. I panicked.

"Is it?! Do you think he knows?!"

"No, it's obvious to everyone that you guys are meant to be together except both of you. Why do you think people write fanfiction about you guys? It's been obvious for years!" Chris said.

"Really? Whoa" I said. "But the problem is, he's still oblivious. He has no idea and I'm scared to tell him incase he hates me for it"

"Don't be scared. Dan is one of the most open minded guys I know. I'm sure he would like you back but even if he didn't, he would never hate you for it. Dan's just not like that, and you mean everything to him."

"Thanks Chris" I smiled.

"You're welcome. So you're gonna tell him tonight, right?" Chris asked.

"Should I?"

"Definitely! It needs to happen, and it needs to happen now. Have a movie marathon or something, have a great night together. And then when he's really happy, tell him. It will work. Trust me". I thought about it for a minute before nodding.

"I'll do it"


	6. Confession

Phil's POV

Dan and I had been watching films for the past 4 hours, and there was popcorn EVERYWHERE. In the middle of Iron Man he had decided to start a popcorn war, attacking me when I couldn't defend myself. I had retaliated and we had been doing this throughout the whole of Harry Potter. Now Stormbreaker was on, and the battle was continuing. Dan threw a piece of popcorn and it hit me in the face, then he burst out laughing as I went bright red. In revenge I waited until he started laughing again and then tackled him to the floor and he screamed in surprise.

"Phil! Get off of me! This is not the way to win a war!" He shouted.

"This is my method!" I shouted back, pushing him down and tickling his stomach. He laughed and shouted at the same time, I knew exactly how ticklish he was. Eventually we were both on the floor laughing, movie forgotten.

We both sat against the couch as we stopped laughing, and looked over to eachother. There was eye contact and then Dan looked away. Was he... blushing? No. He was just out of breath. But now seemed like the perfect time to do it.

Dan's POV

That was the most fun i've had in a long time, but now it's awkward. We both sorta sat there staring at eachother for a minute, and then I felt self conscious and looked away. I don't like people looking at me, especially if it's someone like Phil who is far more attractive than me. Did I just think that?

These thoughts of Phil were happening way too often for my liking. I just didn't understand why. I just wanted it to stop, for things to go on as normal. I looked back at him, chanting the same sentence in my mind as I took in his appearance.

_I don't love Phil. I don't love Phil. I don't love Phil._

"Er Dan... I kinda need to tell you something" Phil said.

_I don't love Phil. I don't love Phil. I don't love Phil._

"What?" I asked, as we both stared at eachother.

_I don't love Phil. I don't love Phil. I don't love Phil._

"Don't be mad... but... I love you Dan, I love you so much" he said. He brought his hands to my face and slowly leaned in, bringing his lips to mine.

_**I love Phil. I love Phil. I love Phil.**_

He began kissing me and straight away I was kissing back, bringing my hands into his hair and pulling him closer to me. It was passionate and fast, both of us wanting to just be with the other, for this moment to never end. I couldn't kid myself any longer. I don't know how it happened, but I was 100% in love with Phil. And he loved me too.

Phil's POV

I was kissing Dan! And he was kissing back! And we weren't just kissing like an awkward first kiss. He was pulling me towards him, his hands tangled in my hair. My hands started on his face but gradually moved down to his hips, holding his back under his shirt. I just wanted to stay kissing Dan like this for the rest of my life.

This lasted for what must have been at least five minutes, and then I couldn't believe what was happening when I felt what happened next. Dan's hands moved down from my hair to the bottom of my shirt, tugging at it, trying to pull it up. He wanted me to take my shirt off. I was nervous but excited at the same time, and I quickly broke the kiss to throw my shirt off of me, now discarded on the floor somewhere. I kissed him again quickly and then pulled his shirt off too, and we moulded back together. I felt his tongue on my bottom lip and opened my mouth a little, and his tongue came into my mouth. The thought of kissing someone like this always sickened me, but with Dan, it felt amazing. He tasted amazing and I just wanted to kiss him over and over.

For making me feel so amazing I knew I had to repay him. I broke the kiss and began kissing along his jawline, and then down onto his neck. I felt his breathing change pace - he was enjoying this. I kissed along his adams apple and then up to his ear, nibbling a little and breathing heavily. He moaned. I liked that sound. I kissed back down to his neck and began biting and sucking at his collarbone, leaving a mark. Apparently he _really _liked this, as he grabbed me and pulled me back onto his lips, kissing me passionately and slowly.

Dan then broke away and we both caught our breaths back, eyes never looking away from eachother.

"That was... different" Dan said, breathlessly.

"Kinda fun though, I think we should do that more often" I said back, winking.

He smiled evilly and bit his lip.

"Definitely" he said, before launching himself forward into another kiss.

I loved him so, so much, and this would never get old.


	7. Morning

_**Hey guys! So this story was posted late last night and I WAS NOT expecting it to get reviews, favourites and follows so quickly, it's made me extremely happy so thankyou :)! Again, if there's anything you want to highlight or you think I should improve on - feedback is always welcome. I have exams tomorrow and Thursday so this might be the only chapter I post (unless I do more tonight) until Thursday night. But I will make it up to you by writing loooooads if I can. Also, if there's any Phan references or characters you'd like to see in the story, I could try and make it happen. This is more than just a Phanfiction. This is an Internet Support Phanfiction. (haha). Thankyou so much for reading, and I hope you like these chapters and the ones to come after!**_

Chapter 7

Dan's POV

I have this weird thing about me that it takes me about 5 minutes in the morning to properly wake up and remember things, so to say I was shocked to wake up laying on Phil on the couch would be an understatement. Infact i'm pretty sure I screamed and fell on the floor, but still didn't manage to wake Phil up.

I soon remembered what exactly had happened last night. Phil and I had been having a film night and had a popcorn war, and then Phil had told me he loved me and kissed me. Somehow after this we had ended up shirtless having a full-on makeout session on the couch, and then fell asleep in eachother's arms. I had woken up with Phil's arms around me and my head on his chest.

I sat and thought about all of this for a moment while looking at Phil's adorable sleeping form, but then I soon became aware of how hungry I was. I carefully stood and tiptoed around the discarded popcorn littering the floor, and made my way to the kitchen. I eyed up the bags of malteasers in one of the cupboards, before I decided that chocolate probably wasn't the best thing to have for breakfast. And that's when I had the perfect idea.

I got the ingredients out of the fridge and cupboards and turned on the stove. I was going to make Delia Smith pancakes for when Phil woke up! He'd be so happy. All hail Delia!

I was halfway through mixing the ingredients in a bowl when I heard Phil groan as he woke up. It made me jump and the bowl flew out of my hands (why did I always drop everything?!), hit the floor, and the liquid splashed all over my joggers, my chest, my face, and my hair. Phil erupted into laughter, falling on the floor and practically crying as I stood there with the mixture dripping off of my fringe.

"It's not funny!" I moaned. Phil didn't even react, he just carried on laughing, unable to stop. It made me want to laugh at the sight of him but I knew that I had to stay acting annoyed. It wasn't fair to laugh at me!

Phil finally stood and came over to me, attempting to stop his laughter (but failing).

"Here, let me help you" he said, picking up a kitchen towel and dabbing my face with it. When it was off of my face he looked down at the rest of me, smiling evilly and winking. "I guess i'll have to clean your chest too..." he giggled.

"No thanks, i'll do that myself. I know what you're like!" I taunted, snatching the towel from him and cleaning the mixture off of me. I then shook my hair, trying to untangle the clumps of pre-pancake from my fringe.

Phil laughed and picked up the mop, mopping the floor and then putting the bowl back on the counter. He then got out some new ingredients and mixed them himself, pouring them into a pan and making a perfect pancake. Showoff.

"Here you go my princess!" he said, handing me the pancake on a plate with some lemon juice and sugar. I glared at him and took the plate, covering it with more sugar and eating it whole. "That is so sexy..." Phil laughed. He made himself a pancake and copied my actions and then turned off the stove and went to sit down on the sofa. I followed him and sat beside him, and he put his arm around me so I nestled my head into him.

"Your hair smells like pancakes and shame" he laughed, and I shoved him away.

"I hate you!" I shouted, laughing.

"Aww Daniel i'm sorry! Hug?"

"Don't call me Daniel, Phillip!"

"I can't believe you just did that!"

Phil pounced on me and pushed me to the floor and we began to wrestle. He was stronger than I was but I still managed to switch our positions, straddling him and holding his hands above his head. We stopped laughing for a second and stared at eachother, before I became aware that we were both still, indeed, shirtless. I blushed and got off of him, walking away quickly. I didn't get away quick enough though, as I discovered when I felt a strong pair of arms reach around my waist. Phil put his head on my shoulder and kissed my jaw, whispering "You never said you love me too last night, you know" into my ear while holding on to my hands. This made me blush more. I had never actually said that to anyone before other than family. It sounded pathetic but I had been waiting for the right person to say it to. I turned around to face Phil and took in his appearance, his cute face scrunching up in confusion as he didn't know why I hadn't answered him yet. I looked into his eyes and thought about all we had been through, and the feelings that I had experienced for him ever since the incident. I knew it was fate. I was meant to be with Phil. He was the one I was meant to love.

I brought my arms around his neck slowly, smiling and looking into his blue eyes as he looked straight back into mine.

"I love you so much Phil, more than I could ever say" I whispered, for only the two of us to hear. His face lit up with that beautiful smile I loved and he leaned into me, kissing me slowly.

"I love you too. Always will" he said.

"...Phil?" I mumbled as we hugged.

"Yes?" He asked.

"Can I have some more pancakes?"


	8. Please

Chapter 8

Phil's POV

"Pleeeeeeease Dan?" I begged, using my best puppy-dog eyes. He ignored them again.

"No Phil"

"But please... I want to!"

"No! End of!"

This is the way every day had gone for the last week. We had been together for nearly two months now but the fans still had no idea, and we never got to kiss or hold hands in public. Only Chris, Alex and PJ knew about us, and I just wanted us to finally admit it to everyone so that we could be together and happy without worrying about it.

Dan on the other hand... hated this idea. He was an insecure person (why?! he's perfect!) and didn't want the extra attention. Of course there would be people against the idea of 'us', but you couldn't always have everyone on your side. I was beginning to feel extremely insulted that he didn't want to tell anyone about us. I couldn't help it, but I just kept thinking that it was because he was with me. I have a lot of flaws, and someone as amazing as Dan being seen with someone like me... it was just insulting to him. That was exactly how I felt.

"Fine" I said, standing up from the floor where we had been sitting together and walking into my room.

"Phil, don't be like that" Dan said, following me into the room. "Come with me a second"

He led me into the bathroom, making me stand infront of the big mirror on the wall. He then stood behind me, wrapping his arms around me and putting his head on my shoulder.

"Look at us" he said, but I refused to look. I just wanted to be stubborn to him right now. "Look!" he repeated in a much harsher tone. I obliged and pulled my gaze up to the mirror infront of us. "You see that?" he asked.

"What?" I said. All I could see was us.

"That" he began, "Is perfection. Us together. The way it should be. All I'm asking is that we keep this perfection just to us for a little while, we'll tell everyone eventually. Just a little longer. Please"

I sighed. "Fine Dan, I won't say anything. I don't know what's so bad about telling people though"

"I do" was all he said, before turning silent and walking out of the room. I decided I would give him another week before asking him again.

~~~~~~~~~~Time Lapse~~~~~~~~~~~

Dan's POV

"You cheated!" Phil screamed as I ran around the room with the xbox controller in my hand, him desperately grabbing at it.

"Did not!" I said, dodging past him and making it to my bedroom, closing the door in his face.

"But Dan! You totally just turned off the tv because you were losing! I know you did!"

"I didn't!" I shouted back. I totally did.

"Open the door! Please Dan!" Phil shouted, and I sat down against it so that he couldn't get in.

"Nah I think i'll just stay here for a while..." I laughed, tapping the controller in my hands, patiently waiting for him to give up and walk away. I soon heard footsteps and stood, listening against the door. He had gone. I reached for the door handle, pulling the door open in one swift movement.

"FUCK!" I shouted as I was greeted by Robert Pattinson in my face. "I fucking hate you Phil!"

Phil took the mask off of his face, laughing at me.

"You scare me almost every day! You can't be mad at me for getting you back once!" he laughed.

"Well I am! I'm so fucking mad at you! I hate you!" I said, moping back into my room. He followed me in and I heard footsteps behind me, and I was then spun round and pinned against the wall. Phil put his knee inbetween my legs, causing me to moan a little and then blush madly when I did. Phil brought his face close to mine, looking me straight in the eyes in an unbelievably sexy way.

"You hate... who?" he asked, grinning evilly and winking at me.

"I-I- No one" I stuttered, unable to believe how attracted I was to Phil right now. His attitude had just changed from innocent to... pure sex. It was unbelievable. I tried to reach to grab his face and pull him closer to me, but he gripped both my hands and held them above my head. He had full control of me.

"That's what I thought. So... who do you love?" He asked, kissing slowly across my jaw.

"You! Phil, I- I love you!" I rambled, desperate for him to just kiss me already. He looked up to my face again and winked, smirking sexily.

"Right answer" He said, before pulling me and throwing me onto the bed.

~~~~~~~~~~Time Lapse~~~~~~~~~~

Phil's POV

I woke up feeling unbelievably happy. The sunlight was creeping through the gap in the blinds and I could feel Dan's arms around me, his head nestled cutely into the back of my neck. He was breathing slowly and calmly, still fast asleep. I closed my eyes again and cuddled into him when I heard a groan - he was waking up.

"Morning sleepyhead" I said, turning around to face him. He screwed his face up and rubbed his eyes, the beam of sunlight shining straight onto his face.

"Fucking sun" he said and I laughed, he wasn't a morning person. I pulled him closer and wrapped my arms around him, resting our foreheads together.

"So last night was great" I said, and he smiled at me.

"Sure was!" he grinned.

Last night was our second time. The first had been about two weeks before that, when I came home to find that Dan had prepared us a romantic dinner. It had all been perfect. Just like last night was too. I was so happy.

"Again soon?" He winked.

"Of course" I replied, and we snuggled further together under the covers.

After a while we decided to get up and get dressed. When we were both dressed, we had cereal and sat together at the breakfast bar.

"Um... Dan?" I asked.

"Yeah Phil?"

"I know you said later on but it's been over a week and I was just wondering... would we be able to tell people about us yet?"

Dan's face dropped, and he looked down at the floor. What ever happy mood had been about the house had just completely disappeared.

"I thought we had gone over this Phil" he mumbled.

I sat there quietly for a moment, and then decided not to. I was going to argue back, he was the one being unfair.

"So what, you just want to never tell anyone about us and constantly not be able to be a couple unless we're in this fucking flat?" I shouted. I could see how shocked Dan was that I actually swore, and how loud I had been. But I couldn't help it, I was so angry.

"I just wanted more time! I just can't do it yet!"

"Dan, it's been two months! You can't just need time! I know exactly why you're doing this. You're embarassed of me and you don't want anyone to know that you're stuck with me. You may as well just say it!" I shouted, standing and pulling my coat on.

"Phil, no! You're wrong! Where are you going?" Dan asked, standing to follow me.

"Out! Go away!" I screamed, before walking out and slamming the door behind me.

~~~~~~~Time Lapse~~~~~~~~

Dan's POV

Phil had been gone for just over two hours now, and I was still sitting on the kitchen floor with my head in my hands. Why didn't he understand? He just didn't know how difficult this was for me. And did he really think that i'm embarassed of him?! Of course I'm not! If anything, he should be embarassed of me. He's the one that has to deal with me.

I just couldn't do it, I couldn't tell everyone about us. It wasn't what Phil thought - I wasn't scared of the fans or other people's reactions. I was scared of my family and what they'd do. I come from an extremely homophobic family, even as a child my father would tell me to stay away from gay people because they would try to hurt me. I didn't tell Phil this because I was scared he would treat me differently. As for my family - I'd be disowned. I know my mother would still care about me, but she wouldn't go against my Dad. If they found out, I would be out of their lives for good.

But I thought about Phil and how happy he made me, how when I was with him I felt like I could take on anything. I knew that I needed him no matter what, and if the only way he would continue to feel the same about me would be to tell people, then I knew what I had to do.


	9. I'm sorry

Chapter 9

Phil's POV

I felt awful about mine and Dan's fight. It was all my fault. I got insecure, scared that he didn't want to be with me. I thought not wanting to tell anyone was the first step - the next being ending it with me because he just really didn't want anyone to know. I had got so angry, Dan was the best thing in my life and I wanted to show the world how lucky I was to have him, but he didn't want to do this for me. But he had said 'not yet', maybe he really didn't mean forever. Maybe he just meant that he needed time, time that I should have given him. I felt so guilty. This was all my fault.

I stood up from my seat in Starbucks, leaving the money for my coffee and a tip. I began to walk home, realising that I had been in there for several hours. Dan was probably worried. I reached the flat and realised the door was wide open. Shocked, I ran in. It didn't look like anyone had broken in. Everything was still there. Had Dan accidentally left the door open?

I walked around the living room and into the hallway, when I realised that there were rose petals all over the floor. It was a trail. I followed it to Dan's room and stepped inside, seeing that the rose petals were leading towards his desk where his computer was. I walked over, looking at what was on the screen.

"Dan?" I called, but there was no answer. He wasn't in the flat. I sat down at his desk chair and looked at the screen again - it was his newest video. I clicked play.

"_Hey guys! So I have a bit of a different video for you this week, but I think you'll probably like it. So we all know AmazingPhil right? If you don't - what's wrong with you?" _

I laughed. What was this even about?

_"I just figured since you guys are the best fans in the world, the news should come straight to you. So here it is. I recently discovered that I am head-over-heels in love with Phil Lester. And it turns out he loves me too! I guess you guys were right! I'm making this video as a way of telling the world that I would be the luckiest guy in the world if I could spend my life with Phil. I realise there will be mixed opinions about this announcement, but I know you guys are amazing and will stick by us, and that means the world to us. And when Phil watches this, I hope he knows that he means more to me than life itself, and I want to stay with him forever. Thanks for listening guys, I will be doing another video tomorrow hopefully, I just needed to say this, speak to you soon!"_

I was crying by this point. The video ended with Dan doing his 'sexy endscreen dance' and I began laughing through my tears. Dan had done this for me, I was so in love with him!

I needed to call him and find where he was. I ran out into the living room to grab my phone, when I noticed we had a voicemail message on the main phone. It had already been listened to, but I was still curious. I clicked play and instantly recognised the voice to be that of Dan's father.

"_Hello Dan, I was just calling to say that your mother and I just watched the video you posted today. We are utterly disgusted at you and cannot believe that after how we raised you and all we've done for you, you would do something this sick. And with Phil?! I told you that boy would never be any good for you. It took a lot for me to allow you to live with him, but this has now gone too far. So now you have a choice. Either you quit being such a selfish idiot and move out of that stupid place and be NORMAL, or we're cutting our ties with you and this is the last you'll hear from us."_

The message ended.


	10. Search

Chapter 10

Dan's POV

Pain. Hurt. Abandonment. These were all I could feel. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't speak. Everything was falling apart. One second I was standing, the next I was on the floor. I don't know when the tears started, but I doubted they'd ever end. Phil would be back any moment to see what I had left for him. I couldn't face him now though, not after this. He couldn't see me like this. He'd blame himself. I needed to get out of here, to leave, to go anywhere but here. I stood, mind racing, almost unaware of all my surroundings. I left the room, I stumbled down the stairs. I was out of the building. I started to run, I ran past anyone that looked at me, heading to anywhere that I would not be found. I carried on running, no matter what was happening around me. I kept running until I didn't know where I was anymore, and then I collapsed to the ground.

Phil's POV

I needed to find Dan right now. Now I understood why he wasn't here. Why the door was open. He had left. I knew Dan well, and he was not going to be able to take this lightly. I knew straight away that he was going to be somewhere falling apart, and it broke my heart to even think of that. I picked up my phone and pressed PJ's name, calling him. While the phone was ringing, I realised that the sun was beginning to set. It would be a million times harder to find him in the dark.

"Hello?" PJ's voice pulled me out of my thoughts.

"Peej! I need you right now. Dan's gone and he could be in trouble. Please help me look for him?" I shouted down the phone desperately.

"Chris is here, we'll both be there soon. Meet infront of your building. You can explain to us what happened when we're there" PJ said before hanging up.

I pulled on my jacket and left the flat, locking the door behind me. As I was running down the stairs, awful thoughts came into my head. I remembered that night at the park, the man that stabbed Dan. I remembered the dreams I had been having ever since. I was living one of them now. Anything could happen to Dan unless we found him as soon as possible.

I met PJ and Chris at the front of the building and began running down the street, looking everywhere I could for Dan.

"Whoa!" Chris said as the two caught up with me. "Want to explain to us what happened?"

"Dan and I had a fight and to make it up to me he posted a video about us being together. His Dad saw and left a message saying that he has to either move out or leave his family for good" I said, crying as I continued to search down each street.

"Shit" was all PJ said, and then they both carried on helping me.

An hour later, it was pitch black. There was a serious lack of streetlamps and I was starting to get really angry about it. The others had stopped me to try to get me to calm down for a minute, but all I wanted to do was find Dan.

"What if he's gone to the park again? What if the guy that stabbed him is there?" I whimpered, fretting on the spot.

"Phil calm down. I'm sure Dan just went somewhere to clear his mind, if we go back to the flat maybe he'll be there" Chris said. I didn't want to go, but maybe he was right.

"Ok, I'll go back. But can we walk the long way? I kind of have a feeling about looking there" I said, to buy me more time to search.

Dan's POV

I was cold. Freezing infact. I had been sitting out here for a few hours now, and at least I had stopped crying as much. I could see now, and I knew where I was. Not too far from our flat actually but I had gone down a road we barely ever passed through because it was so long and the houses were boring. I had found a tree at the side of the street and laid myself under it. This street was almost abandoned, no one ever walked down here. So there was no one here to help me.

What was I going to do? I knew i'd have to see Phil soon and tell him what had happened. I wonder if he had watched the video yet. The thing was, I wasn't even ashamed of the video. I meant everything I had said, I was in love with him. But I knew he'd tell me to go back to my parents. I wasn't going to listen though. The choice was to either stay with someone who loves and cares about me, or to go to two people that don't. The answer was clear.

I knew I should probably start making my way home, but I just couldn't. I was weak, and miserable, and I just needed Phil here. I lay back against the tree and closed my eyes, pulling my knees up towards me, trying to keep in my body heat. It was now extremely dark other than a couple of streetlamps on the opposite side of the street. I could feel myself slipping slowly away.

Phil's POV

"DAN!" I screamed as I saw him slumped unconscious against a tree. I ran over as fast as I could with the others trailing behind me. "DAN PLEASE WAKE UP!" I shook his shoulders and his head leaned back.

"mmmh?" Dan mumbled as he awoke.

"Dan are you okay?!"

"Phil... I'm so sorry" Dan said, sitting up a little and looking at me.

"You have no reason to be sorry. Come on, lets go home where it's warm and we can talk about this"

I lifted Dan bridal style and carried him the entire way home - I had never realised he was this light. I couldn't believe Dan seriously thought that he was fat.

Soon we made it home and the four of us sat down in the living room, allowing Dan to sit in the middle with me to his left, Chris to his right and PJ on the arm of the sofa next to Chris. Chris got some blankets from the cupboard and put them on Dan for him to warm up, and he was almost back to normal fairly quickly.

"So what are you going to do?" PJ asked him.

"The obvious thing to do. I'm going to lose my family" Dan replied, not looking up.

"No Dan, you can't-" I began.

"No, Phil. You need to trust me on this one" He said, looking into my eyes. He was confident about this. "I'm not going back to them. You're my family now. I only need you guys"

I knew this was an awful thing to say, but I was proud of Dan's strength. I knew I did need to trust him. I nodded to show that I agreed with him, and so did the others. I put my arm around him and pulled him towards me, letting him cuddle into my side. I leaned my head down to his ear.

"That video was the sweetest, most beautiful thing I have ever seen, by the way" I said, and he blushed.

"I'm glad you like it, I meant every word"

Dan's POV

Chris and PJ stayed until quite late but then decided it was time to leave us alone. After they had gone, Phil and I decided to just go to bed, so we got into Phil's bed (mine was still covered in rose petals) and fell asleep in eachother's arms. The next morning we awoke to the sound of the main phone ringing.

"...shit" I said, burying my head in the covers. Phil followed me under and held me.

"Just let the machine get it, you never have to talk to them again" Phil said, kissing my forehead. We got out of the covers and listened for when it stopped ringing. We heard our voicemail recording and then the message began.

_"Dan, it's your mother here. Can you pick up please?... Please Daniel. I need to talk to you about something. I know you're in, you never get up and go out that early. It's really important..."_

I stood, walking out of the room and to the phone. Phil followed me.

"Are you sure you want to answer this?" Phil asked, sitting at the breakfast bar while I paced a little. I nodded and picked up the phone.

Phil's POV

"Hey Mum..." Dan said. I was so worried for him, what would she say?

"I'm sorry - you're WHAT?! Are you serious? Whoa. How? Wow. Yes, yes of course. Okay, speak to you soon, you too, bye"

I looked at him expectantly as he put the phone down, waiting anxiously to see what had happened. Dan looked at me, his face blank. Was it bad news?

"She.. she said..." Dan began. "She's happy for us... She's leaving my Dad because she would never want to leave me and she wants to see us soon to congratulate us for finally getting together..."

His face remained blank, and then as I started smiling, so did he.

"She still cares about me!" He shouted, smiling broadly. I pulled him straight in for a hug and then we kissed. A kiss that was probably just as great as our first one. Dan's arms were around my neck while mine were either side of his face, and we stayed holding eachother like that for as long as we possibly could. We now had hope, and we knew that we could be together. So there was not just that kiss but many more beautiful, beautiful kisses to come.

_**Thank you all for reading and for the reviews, they made me so happy. I hope you liked it and the ending was alright, I was a bit nervous about posting it because I didn't think it was really good enough. I may consider writing more chapters for this as I have some ideas, but this story may/may not go on hiatus for now because I have a lot of ideas for other Phanfictions. It would mean everything to me if you could read those too, the first should be posted tonight. Thankyou, you guys are better than toast! :) xx**_

_**Side note: I completely respect Dan and Phil and I am a huge fan of theirs. I respect their thoughts and I wrote this story only for the purpose of being creative - none of this actually happened (I wish). But there are references to things they have said and done, so see how many you can recognise! :) **_


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